A good marriage can be built only by constant attention and effort.
It evolves, changes, and develops slowly over a period of time. It does
not develop overnight. The same applies to a good career.
A healthy relationship is about balancing the attention you offer
your spouse and your career. You have to effectively divide your time
and attention between your marriage and career if you want to succeed in
both, and the amount of time you offer each is governed by the
circumstances of your marriage as well as your marital and individual
goals. It’s not always an easy thing to do! Managing a successful career
and a marriage and family is a skill that calls couples to make
judgments that don’t always work. In one corner you need to spend a
large amount of time and effort in the workplace to advance and increase
your salary and lifestyle, and in the other corner you need to spend
the necessary time at home cultivating the relationship and fulfilling
both yours and your partner’s needs.
This is where problems begin. How much time do you devote to your
career? How much time do you devote to the marriage? Sometimes it feels
as though you are being pulled both ways. Many cannot manage both and
sometimes they even lose both. Too much time either way comes at the
expense of the other.
It doesn’t have to be this way. If your communication is clear and you plan properly, you can have it all.
These days companies expect more and more from their employees. You
are expected to work beyond your regular hours that may add up to fifty
or seventy hours a week. If you want to climb the career ladder you have
to be seen to be putting the hours in. In addition to this, the demands
on your income may be greater at an early stage in the marriage. A
wife, young children, childcare, schooling, rent or a mortgage, all of
these things place a large strain on the family income. You have to keep
the job in order to not just earn a living for yourself but to support
your family.
Being an executive doubles or triples your burden. In fact, the
demands are greater and the stress is higher. You may be expected to
oversee projects, meet deadlines, do project reports, give
presentations, etc. You may spend an increasing amount of time everyday
at your office to get all this done. How will this affect your marriage?
With the increasing demands on income, it’s increasingly common to
see both partners working long hours, and this can have a detrimental
effect on the relationship. The perception is that you are all working
hard to have a better life, but the cost of working long hours is that
there is less time to have a life!
Career advancement, workplace pressure, two-income families, shift
work, all of these are factors that can place pressure on marriages. But
if you are able to play it smart like some couples, you can have a
successful career and a stable marriage. All it requires is
communication and balance.
There are couples that successfully manage their careers and their
marriages. Since both partners are busy during weekdays, they make it a
point to plan a specific date night each week so that they can spend
some quality time together. With this kind of an arrangement, you may
look forward to the date night and focus little on the days your spouse
is not available.
Some couples come to an understanding by setting some ground rules.
You may set your schedule to work late nights two or three days in a
week. You may negotiate with your office if you are on a traveling job
and limit your travel to two or three trips per month. You may schedule
to take some of your leave in small increments so you can have long
weekends away together every few months.
The key to a successful marriage is in having clear communication.
Sit down with your partner. Make a budget. Talk about what you need to
do to pay the bills. Talk about what is expected of you in your job.
Talk about how your job is important when it comes to paying the bills
and funding your lifestyle. Talk frankly with each other about what is
necessary for you to reach your goals as a couple. Be clear about what
your goals are.
Too many people believe if they work harder and earn more money the
marriage will get better. It’s simply not true. Work to live, not live
to work. While it is great to have career goals and individual goals,
they need to be congruent with your marital goals. Talking and
communicating with your partner is the key to achieving balance, having
the resources you need to live, and the time available to enjoy it.
Communicate, negotiate, and find balance.
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