A guy may be crazy about you but he tries to hide it making you feel
confused. It is possible that the signs are already there but he is not
yet ready to come forward and confess his feelings. Sometimes a woman
may get confused if a guy is into her or not especially if he hasn’t
mention the three magic words yet. The signs that a man is into you may
be right in front of you but you often fail to recognize it. Knowing
what he’s thinking and how he feels about you without asking him could
erase all the confusion. Although every man is different, there are
common signs he is romantically interested in you. So what are the
tell-tale signs that a guy is interested in you?
Uncontrollable physical response in your presence.
Some men get anxious in the presence of the person they have intense
feelings with. Some of the physical manifestations when one is really
conscious in the presence of the person they have strong feelings with
are stammering, blushing and dilated pupils. If he normally do not have
these physical response to other people but they suddenly appear in your
presence, then it is clear that he has strong feelings for you. Those
uncontrollable physical response are signs he is romantically interested
in you.
He stares at you a lot. One of the signs that a man
is into you can be seen in his eyes. His eyes can give him away. You
often caught him looking at you while you are doing something or when he
thinks you are too busy to notice him gazing at you. He immediately
look away or do something if you caught him staring at you. The eyes
cannot lie and one of the signs he is romantically interested in you can
be seen in his eyes.
He constantly inquire about you. You will soon find
out that he asks people a lot about you including your friends,
neighbors and people who are very close to you. For instance, if you are
a church choir member, he would make an effort to know some people in
your church to inquire about you. He knows important details about you.
He knows your birthday and he even go beyond by finding out special
events in your family like anniversaries etc. He reads all the stuffs
you posted on Facebook and likes them even those you think most people
will ignore but he never misses to like them. If he makes an effort to
know more about you, it is one of the signs he is romantically
interested in you.
You receive unexpected calls or text messages from him.
He send text messages unexpectedly just to say “Hi” that you even
wonder why he’s texting you. The next time you know he’s saying that he
is out with his friends but it makes you wonder why he’s texting you
even if he is out with his friends. This only shows that you are in his
mind even if he is in the company of his friends.
He takes your compliments and suggestions to heart.
If you happen to compliment his new haircut, he’ll consider to have that
hairstyle as long as it pleases you. Even if you unconsciously say
something about his weight gain, he will secretly head to the gym and
try to shed those excess pounds. If you suggest that a certain color
looks good on him, he will wear that particular color more than any
other color. If your compliments and suggestions have that kind of
effect on him, those are signs he is romantically interested in you.
He offers a helping hand. If you are preoccupied
with a lot of things at school or at work, he often offer help for you
to accomplish things on time. He doesn’t mind doing things that are
usually considered “women things” just to help you. You will notice
that he enjoys doing things with you even if it caused him to lose some
sleep.
Some men need the proper timing to come forward and confess their
feelings but if you know how to recognize the signs he is romantically
interested in you, you will not get confused and you know where to
stand. If you want to magnetically attract men, visit Make Him Desire You
Thursday, May 26, 2016
How to Be Irresistibly Attractive to Men
The competition in the dating scene is getting harder as many single
women are out there looking for their dream guy but things will be
easier if you know how to be irresistibly attractive to men. Knowing
what men want and knowing how to attract men will give you an edge in
winning the man of your dreams.
So what are the qualities women should possess to be irresistibly attractive to men?
Cheerful. People who are cheerful have positive aura and invite positive vibes and that is what most men need. Men tend to be so serious at work and in other areas of their lives where they are expected to be tough and being around someone who can make them laugh is important. Being cheerful or having a sense of humor to make the situation lighter is very admirable. The ability to cheer him up and create good jokes on everyday situation makes a woman irresistible to men. Men want women who can be there for him to cheer him up. Men need someone who can respond to his jokes and not someone who always act like an audience who needs to be entertained. Men also need to be cheered up from time to time so if you want to be irresistibly attractive to men, learn to be cheerful.
Fashionable. Men admire women who knows how to dress and knows how to groom herself to look good. Learn how to dress and upgrade your wardrobe if they are already out of fashion. Being fashionable does not mean you have to own expensive signature clothes, bags and shoes. Although it is not a sin to own those things, spending beyond your means for the sake of fashion is not practical. Being fashionable is different from being obsessively fashionable. It is a big turn off to spend more of your time and money just to follow the latest trend in fashion. Be fashionable but be practical. It can be admirable to know that you are a woman who knows how to find the best clothes without spending too much. Learn what style and color look good on you. Men admire women who know how to choose the right clothes. The way you dress can be a statement of your personality and how you want to be perceived. For instance, women showing a lot of cleavage and legs could be sending sensual message to men. Choose the right clothes that suits your personality and something that’s comfortable with you and the people around you. To be irresistibly attractive to men, be a good dresser.
Healthy and good body shape. Accept it or not, most men love curves and it is a must to keep a good body shape if you want to be irresistibly attractive to men. But it doesn’t mean that you have to spend more of your time in the gym than with him in your obsession to get the body that men would die for. Maintaining a healthy weight that allows you to look good on any clothes you want is enough. You do not have to acquire a super model body. Maintaining a good body shape is different from being superficial. It is important to keep a good body shape not only to be irresistibly attractive to men but most importantly, you want to maintain a healthy weight to be healthy.
Passionate. It is great for men to see a woman who is passionate on something; whether it is a hobby or something she’s good at, in helping people, in her job, in her responsibilities as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend or as a citizen, etc. A woman of that character has a lot of heart to give and that is really admirable. Being passionate on something makes life more meaningful and it inspire most people including men. Being an inspiration makes you irresistibly attractive to men. So be passionate to be irresistibly attractive to men.
Confident. Not all women have self-confidence and if you are a woman who have this admirable trait, you are irresistibly attractive to men. A confident woman is not insecure, she knows her worth and not constantly seeking approval just to feel good about herself. A confident woman is self-reliant and knows how to handle herself. Although she may need help from time to time, she is not a liability but an asset that her man can be proud of. She has skills that she’s good at and she constantly improve herself. To be irresistibly attractive to men, you have to believe in yourself and you must have the self-confidence that not all women have.
Success in the dating scene is not that easy but if you know what men are looking for, it is not as difficult as you think. Of course you have to work on it. To know more on how to attract the man of your dreams visit Make Him Desire
So what are the qualities women should possess to be irresistibly attractive to men?
Cheerful. People who are cheerful have positive aura and invite positive vibes and that is what most men need. Men tend to be so serious at work and in other areas of their lives where they are expected to be tough and being around someone who can make them laugh is important. Being cheerful or having a sense of humor to make the situation lighter is very admirable. The ability to cheer him up and create good jokes on everyday situation makes a woman irresistible to men. Men want women who can be there for him to cheer him up. Men need someone who can respond to his jokes and not someone who always act like an audience who needs to be entertained. Men also need to be cheered up from time to time so if you want to be irresistibly attractive to men, learn to be cheerful.
Fashionable. Men admire women who knows how to dress and knows how to groom herself to look good. Learn how to dress and upgrade your wardrobe if they are already out of fashion. Being fashionable does not mean you have to own expensive signature clothes, bags and shoes. Although it is not a sin to own those things, spending beyond your means for the sake of fashion is not practical. Being fashionable is different from being obsessively fashionable. It is a big turn off to spend more of your time and money just to follow the latest trend in fashion. Be fashionable but be practical. It can be admirable to know that you are a woman who knows how to find the best clothes without spending too much. Learn what style and color look good on you. Men admire women who know how to choose the right clothes. The way you dress can be a statement of your personality and how you want to be perceived. For instance, women showing a lot of cleavage and legs could be sending sensual message to men. Choose the right clothes that suits your personality and something that’s comfortable with you and the people around you. To be irresistibly attractive to men, be a good dresser.
Healthy and good body shape. Accept it or not, most men love curves and it is a must to keep a good body shape if you want to be irresistibly attractive to men. But it doesn’t mean that you have to spend more of your time in the gym than with him in your obsession to get the body that men would die for. Maintaining a healthy weight that allows you to look good on any clothes you want is enough. You do not have to acquire a super model body. Maintaining a good body shape is different from being superficial. It is important to keep a good body shape not only to be irresistibly attractive to men but most importantly, you want to maintain a healthy weight to be healthy.
Passionate. It is great for men to see a woman who is passionate on something; whether it is a hobby or something she’s good at, in helping people, in her job, in her responsibilities as a daughter, as a sister, as a friend or as a citizen, etc. A woman of that character has a lot of heart to give and that is really admirable. Being passionate on something makes life more meaningful and it inspire most people including men. Being an inspiration makes you irresistibly attractive to men. So be passionate to be irresistibly attractive to men.
Confident. Not all women have self-confidence and if you are a woman who have this admirable trait, you are irresistibly attractive to men. A confident woman is not insecure, she knows her worth and not constantly seeking approval just to feel good about herself. A confident woman is self-reliant and knows how to handle herself. Although she may need help from time to time, she is not a liability but an asset that her man can be proud of. She has skills that she’s good at and she constantly improve herself. To be irresistibly attractive to men, you have to believe in yourself and you must have the self-confidence that not all women have.
Success in the dating scene is not that easy but if you know what men are looking for, it is not as difficult as you think. Of course you have to work on it. To know more on how to attract the man of your dreams visit Make Him Desire
Wednesday, November 18, 2015
Balancing A Marriage And A Career
A good marriage can be built only by constant attention and effort.
It evolves, changes, and develops slowly over a period of time. It does
not develop overnight. The same applies to a good career.
A healthy relationship is about balancing the attention you offer your spouse and your career. You have to effectively divide your time and attention between your marriage and career if you want to succeed in both, and the amount of time you offer each is governed by the circumstances of your marriage as well as your marital and individual goals. It’s not always an easy thing to do! Managing a successful career and a marriage and family is a skill that calls couples to make judgments that don’t always work. In one corner you need to spend a large amount of time and effort in the workplace to advance and increase your salary and lifestyle, and in the other corner you need to spend the necessary time at home cultivating the relationship and fulfilling both yours and your partner’s needs.
This is where problems begin. How much time do you devote to your career? How much time do you devote to the marriage? Sometimes it feels as though you are being pulled both ways. Many cannot manage both and sometimes they even lose both. Too much time either way comes at the expense of the other.
It doesn’t have to be this way. If your communication is clear and you plan properly, you can have it all.
These days companies expect more and more from their employees. You are expected to work beyond your regular hours that may add up to fifty or seventy hours a week. If you want to climb the career ladder you have to be seen to be putting the hours in. In addition to this, the demands on your income may be greater at an early stage in the marriage. A wife, young children, childcare, schooling, rent or a mortgage, all of these things place a large strain on the family income. You have to keep the job in order to not just earn a living for yourself but to support your family.
Being an executive doubles or triples your burden. In fact, the demands are greater and the stress is higher. You may be expected to oversee projects, meet deadlines, do project reports, give presentations, etc. You may spend an increasing amount of time everyday at your office to get all this done. How will this affect your marriage?
With the increasing demands on income, it’s increasingly common to see both partners working long hours, and this can have a detrimental effect on the relationship. The perception is that you are all working hard to have a better life, but the cost of working long hours is that there is less time to have a life!
Career advancement, workplace pressure, two-income families, shift work, all of these are factors that can place pressure on marriages. But if you are able to play it smart like some couples, you can have a successful career and a stable marriage. All it requires is communication and balance.
There are couples that successfully manage their careers and their marriages. Since both partners are busy during weekdays, they make it a point to plan a specific date night each week so that they can spend some quality time together. With this kind of an arrangement, you may look forward to the date night and focus little on the days your spouse is not available.
Some couples come to an understanding by setting some ground rules. You may set your schedule to work late nights two or three days in a week. You may negotiate with your office if you are on a traveling job and limit your travel to two or three trips per month. You may schedule to take some of your leave in small increments so you can have long weekends away together every few months.
The key to a successful marriage is in having clear communication. Sit down with your partner. Make a budget. Talk about what you need to do to pay the bills. Talk about what is expected of you in your job. Talk about how your job is important when it comes to paying the bills and funding your lifestyle. Talk frankly with each other about what is necessary for you to reach your goals as a couple. Be clear about what your goals are.
Too many people believe if they work harder and earn more money the marriage will get better. It’s simply not true. Work to live, not live to work. While it is great to have career goals and individual goals, they need to be congruent with your marital goals. Talking and communicating with your partner is the key to achieving balance, having the resources you need to live, and the time available to enjoy it.
Communicate, negotiate, and find balance.
Don’t forget, if you want the shortcut to marriage success you must check out: Save My Marriage Today
A healthy relationship is about balancing the attention you offer your spouse and your career. You have to effectively divide your time and attention between your marriage and career if you want to succeed in both, and the amount of time you offer each is governed by the circumstances of your marriage as well as your marital and individual goals. It’s not always an easy thing to do! Managing a successful career and a marriage and family is a skill that calls couples to make judgments that don’t always work. In one corner you need to spend a large amount of time and effort in the workplace to advance and increase your salary and lifestyle, and in the other corner you need to spend the necessary time at home cultivating the relationship and fulfilling both yours and your partner’s needs.
This is where problems begin. How much time do you devote to your career? How much time do you devote to the marriage? Sometimes it feels as though you are being pulled both ways. Many cannot manage both and sometimes they even lose both. Too much time either way comes at the expense of the other.
It doesn’t have to be this way. If your communication is clear and you plan properly, you can have it all.
These days companies expect more and more from their employees. You are expected to work beyond your regular hours that may add up to fifty or seventy hours a week. If you want to climb the career ladder you have to be seen to be putting the hours in. In addition to this, the demands on your income may be greater at an early stage in the marriage. A wife, young children, childcare, schooling, rent or a mortgage, all of these things place a large strain on the family income. You have to keep the job in order to not just earn a living for yourself but to support your family.
Being an executive doubles or triples your burden. In fact, the demands are greater and the stress is higher. You may be expected to oversee projects, meet deadlines, do project reports, give presentations, etc. You may spend an increasing amount of time everyday at your office to get all this done. How will this affect your marriage?
With the increasing demands on income, it’s increasingly common to see both partners working long hours, and this can have a detrimental effect on the relationship. The perception is that you are all working hard to have a better life, but the cost of working long hours is that there is less time to have a life!
Career advancement, workplace pressure, two-income families, shift work, all of these are factors that can place pressure on marriages. But if you are able to play it smart like some couples, you can have a successful career and a stable marriage. All it requires is communication and balance.
There are couples that successfully manage their careers and their marriages. Since both partners are busy during weekdays, they make it a point to plan a specific date night each week so that they can spend some quality time together. With this kind of an arrangement, you may look forward to the date night and focus little on the days your spouse is not available.
Some couples come to an understanding by setting some ground rules. You may set your schedule to work late nights two or three days in a week. You may negotiate with your office if you are on a traveling job and limit your travel to two or three trips per month. You may schedule to take some of your leave in small increments so you can have long weekends away together every few months.
The key to a successful marriage is in having clear communication. Sit down with your partner. Make a budget. Talk about what you need to do to pay the bills. Talk about what is expected of you in your job. Talk about how your job is important when it comes to paying the bills and funding your lifestyle. Talk frankly with each other about what is necessary for you to reach your goals as a couple. Be clear about what your goals are.
Too many people believe if they work harder and earn more money the marriage will get better. It’s simply not true. Work to live, not live to work. While it is great to have career goals and individual goals, they need to be congruent with your marital goals. Talking and communicating with your partner is the key to achieving balance, having the resources you need to live, and the time available to enjoy it.
Communicate, negotiate, and find balance.
Don’t forget, if you want the shortcut to marriage success you must check out: Save My Marriage Today
Removing Divorce From The Menu
No one is saying that your marriage isn’t difficult. It might even be
miserable. But an interesting set of statistics shows that people who
take divorce off the table as an option not only resolve their issues,
but end up being happier than ever.
If your marriage is feeling troubled, and you’re considering divorce, consider trying alternate therapies instead, marriage counseling, or just some open communication. But whatever you do, don’t bring up the “D” word as an option, because doing that will change the rules of the game.
Now, of course it’s important to acknowledge that there are a lot of influences on you to get a divorce. Your friends who don’t like your spouse, legal advertisements, even popular culture. It’s a common statistic that most marriages end in divorce, and so it seems like an acceptable, even normal way to resolve problems in a marriage.
But let’s look at some statistics. Of all the couples surveyed who were contemplating divorce and then decided not to go through with it, 80% claimed to be happily married only five years later. In all likelihood this is due to two elements.
The first is that those couples who decide not to consider divorce, the only remaining option is to deal with the problems experienced in the marriage head-on. This is a powerful and proactive tactic that will lead to acknowledgement of the problems the couples face, and maybe even to solutions.
The other element is that once divorce is considered, the dynamic of the relationship is changed. This is a more subtle, though far more destructive product of considering divorce. The dynamic of this is simple. When a fundamental disagreement develops in a marriage – as it will in almost all relationships – those who never consider divorce are forced to deal with the disagreement.
Those who do consider divorce preserve an “out” that can be used without ever addressing the issue. As the problems in the marriage mount, or the fundamental issues become more divisive, the easy out of divorce can become more and more appealing.
This thinking will take both of you, however. When both people in a marriage are actively searching for a solution to a problem, and both accept that divorce is not – and will not be – an option, a solution will almost surely be found. You and your spouse will be asking what you can do to make things better, rather than asking if it’s worth it, or if you should cut your losses and run.
Remove divorce as an option and endeavor to go into relationship counseling, therapy of some kind, or just talk about your problems in a mature and open way. To many it may seem the more difficult option, but considering the long-term impacts of divorce on your life, finances, and family, committing to finding ways through the pain and communicating your way towards a solution seems immediately more attractive!
It seems simplistic, but statistically it also seems to work. Those who deny divorce as a viable end to a committed marriage will also be more motivated to work on that marriage, and work through the problems that could, without communication and understanding, put an end to something that was supposed to be a lifetime commitment and bond.
Divorce is never the end of your problems. In most cases, it’s only the beginning of a whole new set of problems to face. If you want a solution that not only helps you grow as a person, but also fosters a healthier and more stable relationship, make sure you visit Save My Marriage Today:
If your marriage is feeling troubled, and you’re considering divorce, consider trying alternate therapies instead, marriage counseling, or just some open communication. But whatever you do, don’t bring up the “D” word as an option, because doing that will change the rules of the game.
Now, of course it’s important to acknowledge that there are a lot of influences on you to get a divorce. Your friends who don’t like your spouse, legal advertisements, even popular culture. It’s a common statistic that most marriages end in divorce, and so it seems like an acceptable, even normal way to resolve problems in a marriage.
But let’s look at some statistics. Of all the couples surveyed who were contemplating divorce and then decided not to go through with it, 80% claimed to be happily married only five years later. In all likelihood this is due to two elements.
The first is that those couples who decide not to consider divorce, the only remaining option is to deal with the problems experienced in the marriage head-on. This is a powerful and proactive tactic that will lead to acknowledgement of the problems the couples face, and maybe even to solutions.
The other element is that once divorce is considered, the dynamic of the relationship is changed. This is a more subtle, though far more destructive product of considering divorce. The dynamic of this is simple. When a fundamental disagreement develops in a marriage – as it will in almost all relationships – those who never consider divorce are forced to deal with the disagreement.
Those who do consider divorce preserve an “out” that can be used without ever addressing the issue. As the problems in the marriage mount, or the fundamental issues become more divisive, the easy out of divorce can become more and more appealing.
This thinking will take both of you, however. When both people in a marriage are actively searching for a solution to a problem, and both accept that divorce is not – and will not be – an option, a solution will almost surely be found. You and your spouse will be asking what you can do to make things better, rather than asking if it’s worth it, or if you should cut your losses and run.
Remove divorce as an option and endeavor to go into relationship counseling, therapy of some kind, or just talk about your problems in a mature and open way. To many it may seem the more difficult option, but considering the long-term impacts of divorce on your life, finances, and family, committing to finding ways through the pain and communicating your way towards a solution seems immediately more attractive!
It seems simplistic, but statistically it also seems to work. Those who deny divorce as a viable end to a committed marriage will also be more motivated to work on that marriage, and work through the problems that could, without communication and understanding, put an end to something that was supposed to be a lifetime commitment and bond.
Divorce is never the end of your problems. In most cases, it’s only the beginning of a whole new set of problems to face. If you want a solution that not only helps you grow as a person, but also fosters a healthier and more stable relationship, make sure you visit Save My Marriage Today:
Tuesday, November 17, 2015
Dating And Intimacy in a Marriage
Any marriage will inevitably face a battery of storms during the
course of its life cycle. Some couples may face bigger problems than
others, but the one constant in any relationship is a series of tests
and trials that will occur over the years and decades.
One way or another, you and your spouse will have to go through your own unique set of conflicts. When it comes to marital problems it’s always a question of “when” rather than “if”.
For many couples, the root of their difficulties doesn’t lie in their actual problems, but in their lack of preparation. Some think that being merely aware that married life isn’t perfect will
be enough to help them get past conflicts.
However, foresight is much more than just anticipating the problems ahead – it also has a lot to do with taking precautions in order to deal with them.
That is why a regular habit of preventive maintenance is important in preserving any investment you make in life. With something as precious and priceless as your marriage, you should be mindful of the things you have to do today in order to strengthen your foundations on a long-term basis.
Think of your relationship as a tree; reinforcing your roots will make it difficult for any storm to yank it out of the ground.
Specifically, regular dates and rituals are some of the most practical but vital measures you can take to preserve the health of your marriage. Cars break down when they are neglected or miss their scheduled check-ups.
That’s basically what life is all about: constant maintenance that keeps everything in good working order. A little tweak here and a minor adjustment there go a long way in keeping your relationship from going off-course.
When you make the conscious effort to clear a chunk of your time for your spouse, it signifies that it’s in your interest to keep each other happy. Not only that, every date you keep or ritual
that you habitually observe are small but infinitely powerful affirmations that you want to stay with your partner for better or worse.
Whenever you make the effort to leave the kids with your parents during Friday night movie date, you are also renewing the vows you made at the altar.
As an aside, I would like to point out that while rituals and dates should be part of your marriage, there is a distinction between them. Rituals are habits or practices that should be little reminders of your love for one another.
They can be something as simple as passing by the bookstore where you first met, or hoosing to sit in a certain section of the movie theater where you had your first kiss.
Dates also serve the same general purpose, but these are social functions done outside of the house. You can do those special rituals as part of your date, or separately for certain occasions. The important thing is that both things are done on a regular basis.
Another significant reason behind dates and rituals is that they keep the emotional connection alive by constantly creating and updating an exclusive pool of shared experiences.
After all, there should be some compartment of your marriage that’s reserved for only the both of you. It is this private feeling for one another which serves as your foundation and must be preserved at all costs.
A lot of busy couples make the excuse of ignoring these things, thinking that they can put if off for another time. When it’s a marriage we’re talking about, what you take for granted today can be whisked away tomorrow.
It’s very unhealthy to assume that things will stay the way you want to without making enough effort to keep it as such. Keeping a regular schedule for dates (and any rituals found within) should be part of your regimen to keep your relationship fit.
Here’s another way of looking at it: not investing enough time in your marriage puts that sense of intimacy at great risk. Often called by many as the “spark”, the emotional closeness you have with your spouse will keep you from falling apart when you run into problems.
It doesn’t take a relationship expert to realize that you need to drop everything once in a while and enjoy each other’s company to keep yourselves from being miserable.
Marriage is work, but all work and no play makes for a very dull marriage. Once that dullness sets in, it can cultivate an atmosphere of coldness and detachment. I don’t have to tell you
that those are two very ideal factors for cheating.
In a nutshell, it is always in peoples’ nature to seek something that they feel are lacking in their lives. In the case of an estranged spouse, he/she may choose to capture that “falling in
love” feeling with another person that they are superficially attracted to.
Simply put, any partner needs to have the feeling of being loved and validated by their spouse. Without it, they could very well go off chasing after someone else to satisfy that basic necessity lacking in their marriage.
This is one of the biggest reasons why people cheat on their spouse. If they can’t get enough happiness from their current relationship, a “starved” partner might justify running off with
another person to satisfy their needs.
In short, going on dates and observing couple rituals keeps you focused on each other, and not on people outside the marriage. These things allow you to remember why you fell in love with each other in the first place.
Essentially, you are preventing a gap to grow between you both, lest that void be filled by someone else. It’s important to remember that it’s way easier to prevent a problem from getting out of had rather than fixing the damage resulting from negligence.
In today’s troubled economic times however, both spouses need to work just to make ends meet. As such, couples have to sacrifice their “we time” in order to pay the bills.
Yet you should bear in mind that the marriage you are trying to sustain needs more than just financial support. The emotional and romantic aspect of your relationship needs attention, too. Therefore, all couples must make time to reconnect with one another. Whether it’s on a monthly, weekly, or daily basis, you should make the effort to squeeze in some couple time.
Of course, every marriage has a different set of circumstances, so you’ll need to work out a customized date schedule to suit your situation. Do try to sit down and discuss this with your spouse so that both of you can agree upon which specific day(s) of the month are just for the two of you.
As for the dates themselves, they should go by a few general guidelines to make them effective. First of all, they need to be meaningful to you both. Whatever activity or outing you have in mind, they have to appeal to you emotionally.
I suggest that your dates should be a sort of reminder of your early days as a couple. This allows you both to remember the things that brought you together in the first place. For instance, if you first met on the dance floor, then you can go back to those times by setting a fortnightly or monthly ballroom date.
As we mentioned before, these have to be out of the house if you can manage it. Making the effort to dress up and go out will stimulate you into going through the motions of keeping your love alive.
While you can have rituals like vegging out in front of the TV and having a snack before turning in for the night, there also has to be an evident commitment to make time for each other at an outside venue. It can be a weekly trip to the planetarium, or a nice coffee date where you first met.
Whatever it is, your dates are best done at a special place aside from home.
Although there aren’t any hard and fast rules set in stone regarding the length of your dates, they do have to be long enough to allow you a nice conversation or the opportunity to renew your intimate connection.
To give you an idea, why don’t you try taking up a sport, or get back into doing some of the hobbies or interests that you enjoyed before you met? Physical activity is a great way to diffuse tension brewing at home and relieve the strain on your marriage.
Try engaging in sports that will either allow you to compete against each other or cooperate against other opponents. Generally, a minimum of one to two hours seems to work for many
couples.
Another suggestion we have is for you to take part in some community work or any activity with a social cause. If both of you would be inclined to do so, this is a great way for you reconnect in a way that also benefits people and organizations who need all the help that they can get.
For example, volunteering to read books to the elderly or sick, help out at your local food shelter, or a fundraising community group, will help you bond and make you think of the things that you might be taking for granted as a couple.
The bottom line is that your dates should have no creative limits; as long as they can help you renew your connection in a tension-free setting, then you are doing the right thing for your
marriage.
Life-threatening emergencies notwithstanding, the important thing is that you make a solid promise to one another to keep your regular dates and rituals etched into your respective calendars.
Even in your weakest or most trying moments, those dating rituals and dates may be the one thing that sustains you and saves your marriage.
And don’t forget, if you want more advice that is going to change not only your marriage, but the way you live the rest of your life, you must check out Save My Marriage Today.
One way or another, you and your spouse will have to go through your own unique set of conflicts. When it comes to marital problems it’s always a question of “when” rather than “if”.
For many couples, the root of their difficulties doesn’t lie in their actual problems, but in their lack of preparation. Some think that being merely aware that married life isn’t perfect will
be enough to help them get past conflicts.
However, foresight is much more than just anticipating the problems ahead – it also has a lot to do with taking precautions in order to deal with them.
That is why a regular habit of preventive maintenance is important in preserving any investment you make in life. With something as precious and priceless as your marriage, you should be mindful of the things you have to do today in order to strengthen your foundations on a long-term basis.
Think of your relationship as a tree; reinforcing your roots will make it difficult for any storm to yank it out of the ground.
Specifically, regular dates and rituals are some of the most practical but vital measures you can take to preserve the health of your marriage. Cars break down when they are neglected or miss their scheduled check-ups.
That’s basically what life is all about: constant maintenance that keeps everything in good working order. A little tweak here and a minor adjustment there go a long way in keeping your relationship from going off-course.
When you make the conscious effort to clear a chunk of your time for your spouse, it signifies that it’s in your interest to keep each other happy. Not only that, every date you keep or ritual
that you habitually observe are small but infinitely powerful affirmations that you want to stay with your partner for better or worse.
Whenever you make the effort to leave the kids with your parents during Friday night movie date, you are also renewing the vows you made at the altar.
As an aside, I would like to point out that while rituals and dates should be part of your marriage, there is a distinction between them. Rituals are habits or practices that should be little reminders of your love for one another.
They can be something as simple as passing by the bookstore where you first met, or hoosing to sit in a certain section of the movie theater where you had your first kiss.
Dates also serve the same general purpose, but these are social functions done outside of the house. You can do those special rituals as part of your date, or separately for certain occasions. The important thing is that both things are done on a regular basis.
Another significant reason behind dates and rituals is that they keep the emotional connection alive by constantly creating and updating an exclusive pool of shared experiences.
After all, there should be some compartment of your marriage that’s reserved for only the both of you. It is this private feeling for one another which serves as your foundation and must be preserved at all costs.
A lot of busy couples make the excuse of ignoring these things, thinking that they can put if off for another time. When it’s a marriage we’re talking about, what you take for granted today can be whisked away tomorrow.
It’s very unhealthy to assume that things will stay the way you want to without making enough effort to keep it as such. Keeping a regular schedule for dates (and any rituals found within) should be part of your regimen to keep your relationship fit.
Here’s another way of looking at it: not investing enough time in your marriage puts that sense of intimacy at great risk. Often called by many as the “spark”, the emotional closeness you have with your spouse will keep you from falling apart when you run into problems.
It doesn’t take a relationship expert to realize that you need to drop everything once in a while and enjoy each other’s company to keep yourselves from being miserable.
Marriage is work, but all work and no play makes for a very dull marriage. Once that dullness sets in, it can cultivate an atmosphere of coldness and detachment. I don’t have to tell you
that those are two very ideal factors for cheating.
In a nutshell, it is always in peoples’ nature to seek something that they feel are lacking in their lives. In the case of an estranged spouse, he/she may choose to capture that “falling in
love” feeling with another person that they are superficially attracted to.
Simply put, any partner needs to have the feeling of being loved and validated by their spouse. Without it, they could very well go off chasing after someone else to satisfy that basic necessity lacking in their marriage.
This is one of the biggest reasons why people cheat on their spouse. If they can’t get enough happiness from their current relationship, a “starved” partner might justify running off with
another person to satisfy their needs.
In short, going on dates and observing couple rituals keeps you focused on each other, and not on people outside the marriage. These things allow you to remember why you fell in love with each other in the first place.
Essentially, you are preventing a gap to grow between you both, lest that void be filled by someone else. It’s important to remember that it’s way easier to prevent a problem from getting out of had rather than fixing the damage resulting from negligence.
In today’s troubled economic times however, both spouses need to work just to make ends meet. As such, couples have to sacrifice their “we time” in order to pay the bills.
Yet you should bear in mind that the marriage you are trying to sustain needs more than just financial support. The emotional and romantic aspect of your relationship needs attention, too. Therefore, all couples must make time to reconnect with one another. Whether it’s on a monthly, weekly, or daily basis, you should make the effort to squeeze in some couple time.
Of course, every marriage has a different set of circumstances, so you’ll need to work out a customized date schedule to suit your situation. Do try to sit down and discuss this with your spouse so that both of you can agree upon which specific day(s) of the month are just for the two of you.
As for the dates themselves, they should go by a few general guidelines to make them effective. First of all, they need to be meaningful to you both. Whatever activity or outing you have in mind, they have to appeal to you emotionally.
I suggest that your dates should be a sort of reminder of your early days as a couple. This allows you both to remember the things that brought you together in the first place. For instance, if you first met on the dance floor, then you can go back to those times by setting a fortnightly or monthly ballroom date.
As we mentioned before, these have to be out of the house if you can manage it. Making the effort to dress up and go out will stimulate you into going through the motions of keeping your love alive.
While you can have rituals like vegging out in front of the TV and having a snack before turning in for the night, there also has to be an evident commitment to make time for each other at an outside venue. It can be a weekly trip to the planetarium, or a nice coffee date where you first met.
Whatever it is, your dates are best done at a special place aside from home.
Although there aren’t any hard and fast rules set in stone regarding the length of your dates, they do have to be long enough to allow you a nice conversation or the opportunity to renew your intimate connection.
To give you an idea, why don’t you try taking up a sport, or get back into doing some of the hobbies or interests that you enjoyed before you met? Physical activity is a great way to diffuse tension brewing at home and relieve the strain on your marriage.
Try engaging in sports that will either allow you to compete against each other or cooperate against other opponents. Generally, a minimum of one to two hours seems to work for many
couples.
Another suggestion we have is for you to take part in some community work or any activity with a social cause. If both of you would be inclined to do so, this is a great way for you reconnect in a way that also benefits people and organizations who need all the help that they can get.
For example, volunteering to read books to the elderly or sick, help out at your local food shelter, or a fundraising community group, will help you bond and make you think of the things that you might be taking for granted as a couple.
The bottom line is that your dates should have no creative limits; as long as they can help you renew your connection in a tension-free setting, then you are doing the right thing for your
marriage.
Life-threatening emergencies notwithstanding, the important thing is that you make a solid promise to one another to keep your regular dates and rituals etched into your respective calendars.
Even in your weakest or most trying moments, those dating rituals and dates may be the one thing that sustains you and saves your marriage.
And don’t forget, if you want more advice that is going to change not only your marriage, but the way you live the rest of your life, you must check out Save My Marriage Today.
After The Honeymoon…
Hollywood has shortchanged us. So have fairy tales, romance novels and the media in general.
Since childhood, we’ve been fed with a steady diet of romantic fantasy – Boy meets girl, they fall in love, boy and girl ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.
It’s the classic romantic archetype and deep inside, we actually have been conditioned to believe it. We go through life and relationships assuming that if only we just fall in love, everything will be fine, happy, perfect and passionate all the time.
We will always wake up ready and willing to make love, with fresh breath, shining hair and unlimited libido. In short, we will be in a constant honeymoon state..
It’s good for a while because such ideas give us a sense of hope and beauty with which to live by in a challenging world. That’s fine – for as long as we realize that reality does not always hand everything to us on a silver platter.
Life is a journey of ups and downs, and not exempted from this truth are our relationships.
Hollywood gives us further clues that the honeymoon stage is bound not to last, nor should it. Living amidst intense scrutiny, we see passionate Hollywood couplings burn out even before the ink is dry on the marriage certificate.
And with this burn out, comes divorce. “Irreconcilable differences” is a favorite catch phrase.
If only these couples realize that the “After the Honeymoon” stage is part of the normal course of any relationship, perhaps they could have saved a lot of heartache.
If only we all understand that relationships, like anything in life, have their own progression and phases then we can better equip ourselves to go through and even enjoy these stages as part of our maturing as individuals and as persons-in-relationship.
When you find that your relationship is precisely at this stage: i.e. the initial thrill, the daily love-making marathons, the constant craving has gone – what do you do?
The first thing is actually to understand. Just because the heady feeling has faded does not mean that the relationship is no longer intact.
The commitment partners made, the relationship built – these are bigger than the thrills and understanding this makes for an even deeper and more committed love between two people.
In fact, rather than berate your partner for having let your relationship deteriorate to this state, you should in fact congratulate yourselves.
You have reached a stage of your relationship where the opportunity to develop, strengthen and cement it further opens up new vistas of relating.
At this stage, the rose-colored glasses fall off and you will see your partner for who he or she is, flaws, attributes and all.
At this stage, the opportunity is presented for you to go beyond expectations of perfection in your partner to actually appreciating all the traits that make your partner who he or she is.
As you appreciate your partner, you would find it fair to be appreciated yourself – flaws and all. After all, keeping up the thrill of the honeymoon can turn artificial and exhausting under
most circumstances.
It assumes that you are expected to be perky and accommodating all the time which we’re sure is not really who you are on a daily basis. You too have your ups and downs, you too are on a life journey and the sooner you and your partner adjust to these life rhythms, the better.
While this article may extol the positives of facing reality, we are very much aware that this stage is also the stage of conflict.
As you and your partner work out your relationship and adjust to each other, conflict is to be expected. There’s no other way around it.
Continuous communication and quality time together propel this along. At this stage, both of you are given the chance to develop deeper, more honest and more open communication with each other.
Both speaking in words and deeds as well as listening are highlighted here. At this stage, both of you can learn the language of love as well as conflict in your relationship.
These are the tools that will prove you in good stead for the rest of your lives together. With these, you develop the attitudes that will build the love, trust and intimacy to last a lifetime.
Passing through this stage, you may be surprised to discover that instead of diminishing the love and attraction you have for each other, your sexual attraction actually grows.
As you connect deeper with your partner, you become more comfortable in your own skins and even in communicating your sexual needs and desires. You learn to trust each other more emotionally and physically.
Imagine that! You even end up with a much better version of the Hollywood dream.
Whether you’re about to embark on a new, fresh relationship or are already struggling “after the honeymoon”, don’t worry too much.
Open up your mind and heart and know that even when the honeymoon is over, the rest of your lives begin.
Your new, more connected and loving marriage starts today with Save My Marriage Today
Since childhood, we’ve been fed with a steady diet of romantic fantasy – Boy meets girl, they fall in love, boy and girl ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.
It’s the classic romantic archetype and deep inside, we actually have been conditioned to believe it. We go through life and relationships assuming that if only we just fall in love, everything will be fine, happy, perfect and passionate all the time.
We will always wake up ready and willing to make love, with fresh breath, shining hair and unlimited libido. In short, we will be in a constant honeymoon state..
It’s good for a while because such ideas give us a sense of hope and beauty with which to live by in a challenging world. That’s fine – for as long as we realize that reality does not always hand everything to us on a silver platter.
Life is a journey of ups and downs, and not exempted from this truth are our relationships.
Hollywood gives us further clues that the honeymoon stage is bound not to last, nor should it. Living amidst intense scrutiny, we see passionate Hollywood couplings burn out even before the ink is dry on the marriage certificate.
And with this burn out, comes divorce. “Irreconcilable differences” is a favorite catch phrase.
If only these couples realize that the “After the Honeymoon” stage is part of the normal course of any relationship, perhaps they could have saved a lot of heartache.
If only we all understand that relationships, like anything in life, have their own progression and phases then we can better equip ourselves to go through and even enjoy these stages as part of our maturing as individuals and as persons-in-relationship.
When you find that your relationship is precisely at this stage: i.e. the initial thrill, the daily love-making marathons, the constant craving has gone – what do you do?
The first thing is actually to understand. Just because the heady feeling has faded does not mean that the relationship is no longer intact.
The commitment partners made, the relationship built – these are bigger than the thrills and understanding this makes for an even deeper and more committed love between two people.
In fact, rather than berate your partner for having let your relationship deteriorate to this state, you should in fact congratulate yourselves.
You have reached a stage of your relationship where the opportunity to develop, strengthen and cement it further opens up new vistas of relating.
At this stage, the rose-colored glasses fall off and you will see your partner for who he or she is, flaws, attributes and all.
At this stage, the opportunity is presented for you to go beyond expectations of perfection in your partner to actually appreciating all the traits that make your partner who he or she is.
As you appreciate your partner, you would find it fair to be appreciated yourself – flaws and all. After all, keeping up the thrill of the honeymoon can turn artificial and exhausting under
most circumstances.
It assumes that you are expected to be perky and accommodating all the time which we’re sure is not really who you are on a daily basis. You too have your ups and downs, you too are on a life journey and the sooner you and your partner adjust to these life rhythms, the better.
While this article may extol the positives of facing reality, we are very much aware that this stage is also the stage of conflict.
As you and your partner work out your relationship and adjust to each other, conflict is to be expected. There’s no other way around it.
Continuous communication and quality time together propel this along. At this stage, both of you are given the chance to develop deeper, more honest and more open communication with each other.
Both speaking in words and deeds as well as listening are highlighted here. At this stage, both of you can learn the language of love as well as conflict in your relationship.
These are the tools that will prove you in good stead for the rest of your lives together. With these, you develop the attitudes that will build the love, trust and intimacy to last a lifetime.
Passing through this stage, you may be surprised to discover that instead of diminishing the love and attraction you have for each other, your sexual attraction actually grows.
As you connect deeper with your partner, you become more comfortable in your own skins and even in communicating your sexual needs and desires. You learn to trust each other more emotionally and physically.
Imagine that! You even end up with a much better version of the Hollywood dream.
Whether you’re about to embark on a new, fresh relationship or are already struggling “after the honeymoon”, don’t worry too much.
Open up your mind and heart and know that even when the honeymoon is over, the rest of your lives begin.
Your new, more connected and loving marriage starts today with Save My Marriage Today
Learning to Love Unconditionally
Marriage, like life, is a cycle of ups and downs. It’s easy to say
your marriage is in good health when the world around you is prospering,
but when your fortunes turn and your world is in hardship, how you
interact within your marriage can often paint an altogether different
picture.
How we feel about those we love can have a huge impact on the health of the relationship, much like a relationship with a friend. We love our friends, but the real test of a friendship
or relationship is when, in times of crisis, we feel let down or disappointed in our loved ones or the outcome achieved.
In many cases, the disappointment you feel is in your perspective of the situation. You set standards of behavior for yourself and set the same high standards for those around you, and are disappointed when they let you down. In taking some meaning from the hurt you feel at being disappointed, a colleague shared the following insight:
“You feel disappointment so keenly because you love people so much”
So is it the same when we feel disappointed or let down by our partners? Do we feel disappointment or hurt so keenly because we put our partners up on such a pedestal and expect them to always get it right?
This was perhaps a little more complicated than I had first anticipated, and it made me wonder whether the fault was on them for not living up to our expectations or standards, or
whether our standards were in fact what was at fault. Is it fair to expect the same level of respect and love that you offer so freely to those that you love?
I tell myself that I must lower my expectations of others and that I will do so in what they expect of me, but the reality is that I seem unable to do so. I think the world of my friends. If I love someone I feel compelled to share this thought with them so that they might know that they are valued, and I constantly live in hope that the same feelings are felt in return.
But in taking a closer look, we realize that this is part of what love is about. Sharing our feelings of connection with others, and letting them know that what they do is valued. We feel a sense of togetherness when we are able to share our feelings with others. Love is also what keeps us coming back for more, keeps us trying to do things better, and helps us to keep trying even when we feel let down.
So how do we let go of the hurt?
Some would say that unconditional love is giving love without the expectation of reciprocation. But it doesn’t make it any easier. Part of loving those around you is knowing that they share the same values as you, and that they will be there to support you when you need it. Knowing that quitting isn’t an option, and that the benefit of hanging in there is going to deliver benefits to both of you is what keeps many people going.
Telling your partner about your feelings and expectations is a hard thing to do, and exposes you to a certain amount of vulnerability. There is also the fear that your comments can be taken the wrong way, or that they can be used against you or interpreted as a criticism.
It’s not about criticism. It’s about helping your partner see why you feel the way you do. It’s about helping communicate a part of what makes you tick. It may not be perfect, and it feels scary, but that is one of the most valuable parts of this exercise. In talking to a partner
about your feelings and what leads you to feel these feelings is a valuable part of intimacy.
It’s about getting to know each other better.
And realizing that loving someone is about loving them even when they let you down.
For more tips about unconditional love and developing a greater understanding of what it truly takes to create and foster a healthy and loving marriage, check out “Save My Marriage Today”
How we feel about those we love can have a huge impact on the health of the relationship, much like a relationship with a friend. We love our friends, but the real test of a friendship
or relationship is when, in times of crisis, we feel let down or disappointed in our loved ones or the outcome achieved.
In many cases, the disappointment you feel is in your perspective of the situation. You set standards of behavior for yourself and set the same high standards for those around you, and are disappointed when they let you down. In taking some meaning from the hurt you feel at being disappointed, a colleague shared the following insight:
“You feel disappointment so keenly because you love people so much”
So is it the same when we feel disappointed or let down by our partners? Do we feel disappointment or hurt so keenly because we put our partners up on such a pedestal and expect them to always get it right?
This was perhaps a little more complicated than I had first anticipated, and it made me wonder whether the fault was on them for not living up to our expectations or standards, or
whether our standards were in fact what was at fault. Is it fair to expect the same level of respect and love that you offer so freely to those that you love?
I tell myself that I must lower my expectations of others and that I will do so in what they expect of me, but the reality is that I seem unable to do so. I think the world of my friends. If I love someone I feel compelled to share this thought with them so that they might know that they are valued, and I constantly live in hope that the same feelings are felt in return.
But in taking a closer look, we realize that this is part of what love is about. Sharing our feelings of connection with others, and letting them know that what they do is valued. We feel a sense of togetherness when we are able to share our feelings with others. Love is also what keeps us coming back for more, keeps us trying to do things better, and helps us to keep trying even when we feel let down.
So how do we let go of the hurt?
Some would say that unconditional love is giving love without the expectation of reciprocation. But it doesn’t make it any easier. Part of loving those around you is knowing that they share the same values as you, and that they will be there to support you when you need it. Knowing that quitting isn’t an option, and that the benefit of hanging in there is going to deliver benefits to both of you is what keeps many people going.
Telling your partner about your feelings and expectations is a hard thing to do, and exposes you to a certain amount of vulnerability. There is also the fear that your comments can be taken the wrong way, or that they can be used against you or interpreted as a criticism.
It’s not about criticism. It’s about helping your partner see why you feel the way you do. It’s about helping communicate a part of what makes you tick. It may not be perfect, and it feels scary, but that is one of the most valuable parts of this exercise. In talking to a partner
about your feelings and what leads you to feel these feelings is a valuable part of intimacy.
It’s about getting to know each other better.
And realizing that loving someone is about loving them even when they let you down.
For more tips about unconditional love and developing a greater understanding of what it truly takes to create and foster a healthy and loving marriage, check out “Save My Marriage Today”
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